Don't Mind the Gap (Year)

Super Bowl weekend is usually a great time to get together with loved ones and bond over junk food and team rivalry. For me, its always a little difficult because the super bowl was the last time I saw my sister before she passed away in 2003. Today’s super bowl was even more significant because it falls on Feb 5th, the anniversary of my dear sister’s fatal accident.

I’m glad I am back at home this year, I normally spend the anniversary date by myself or friends. This year, like all others my family went to the gurdwara (Sikh Temple) for blessings in remembrance of my sister and I got to go along after 4 years.

Please take this fine Sunday to be with your family, loved ones, and remember those who have passed. RIP

Jog Log: These sunny days are numbered.

Starting Monday I’m taking on a project assisting a wealth management firm meet tax deadlines. The Jog Log may be on the back burner for a while =/

Pros of the project: exposure to tax, $$$, networking.

Cons: might have to postpone NYC trip to March =(

“Live fast, die young…” Obsessed.

So my friends and I are constantly joking around with each other that since we are all done with school the next major thing coming up in our lives is marriage. We sound more and more like Indian parents of older generations setting up arranged marriages for our kids. We have even taken our joking around to the next level by betrothing future kids to each other.

I know its all in good humor, but behind these funny thoughts is a hint of truth. The majority of my friends and I are still single and have not had a serious relationship in a long time or even ever. It was easy to brush it off as “oh we’re still soo young,” “too busy with school,” or “I’m gonna focus on myself and have fun.”

However…as a gay man I find it really troubling how easy it is to strike up a casual relationship versus something more serious. Its never been a problem starting a conversation or even having some crazy moments on the dance floor at a club or bar. Sadily..these moments come and go like a bad hangover.

Exchanging numbers and hoping to continue talking or go on a few more dates later has never really seemed to be the outcome of these situations. Why is it soo hard for people to commit or even give it a shot?! Its so frustrating that I have even tried using social media/dating services to see if that changes my luck. I know the stats probably aren’t in my favor to just randomly pick up a guy and make it last, but shouldn’t apps matching locals be remotely better?

Grindr is a super popular app among the young, gay culture and I have given it a shot for the past few months. With so much free time on my hands, why not? Instead of finding eligible bachelors I am finding even more DESPERATE MEN than at the local bars. Grindr has proven to be nothing more than a hookup tool for sexually deprived singles. Not really my cup of tea. But hey..no judgement if all you’re looking for is some quick, easy fun.

So to switch it up even further, I decided to take a look at some more serious dating sites. Match.com seemed like a more reputable source of match-making. However, I feel like it is mostly a business trying to make money. Having to pay for the service of contacting people with profiles you are interested in seems a little too much like shopping for the right man to me. Look at the business marketing tactics left in my gmail inbox:

Tempting to make that “doctor” who enjoys my “interests” in coffee and coversation out for a small fee. Today’s culture pushes us to believe we can buy our happiness and that we need to have a signifciant other to be truly happy. However, I think its time for me to really believe in the adage that being single can be good for you and that independence is priceless. I’m at the cusp of really becoming the person I want, shouldn’t I be satisfied with myself and all the progress that I’m making? To be honest, I am a really happy and optimistic person so I vow to keep working on myself and wait patiently for Mr. Right instead of the Mr. Right-Nows.

I’m not completely writing off Grindr and Match.com, but I’m definitely going to take any so-called matches with a grain of salt and not hold my breath.

Since the new year always marks the beginning of new resolutions and a gap year is all about self-improvement I have vowed to get in shape. I know, I know…how boring and typical of a resolution. But hey, everyone wants to look great and feel their best. Don’t worry I’m not taking the typical route of taking up valuable space at the local gym as it gets packed with fitness hopefuls.

Instead I am merging my need to be creative and active by starting a series called “Jog Logs.” Since the new year, I have gone out running several times taking advantage of the great warm days in this oddly warm January.

Here are my favorites and I’ll make sure to post them daily now that I have my tumblr up and running:

Jog Log: First official day at Refugio Valley Park

Jog Log: Day 2 - Paths in the Hercules Valleys

Jog Log: Day 3 - Down Memory Lane, my old High School

Jog Log: Day 4 - First time at Richmond Marina, Goal get to Berkeley

Jog Log: Day 5 - Sprints along the Carquinez Bridge

Like many recent graduates from undergrad entering the “real world” I have been challenged with what to do with my life. I studied Economics, Accounting, and Business Management. However, my passions are also aligned with the more creative side in me - design, event planning, and project management.

As graduation grew closer and closer, I went through job recruitment at my campus. I loved the networking and learning more about the accounting and consulting industries. Unfortunately, I did not land a job but I think it was just a consequence of my internal debate of starting my career or taking the time to really learn what I want out of life.

I convinced my parents to let me take some time off, but this simply marked the beginning of the “GAP YEAR” debates. Growing up in a practical, suburban household where everything had a plan and function, my desire to be less conventional tended to always stir up conflict and arguments.

To compromise in my gap year I lined up an internship for a non-profit based in San Diego to do accounting work as I continued to take online courses to meet the CPA exam requirements. Since finishing the internship, I have been at the crossroads of either now settling down into a full-time job or just finding a random job as I indulge in my passions for a bit longer.

2012 marked yet another compromise between my parents and myself. Moving back home to the Bay Area from San Diego at the completion of my internship in order to continue my time off.

This is where my blog updates pick up: Monitoring the successes and failures of my Gap Year. So far I have completed my internship, just as confused as ever before..and will share all that comes with this time off. So be ready and please…”Don’t Mind the Gap” as I hopefully achieve all that I want in this year - travel, gain more work experience, and settle down into a career I can be happy with.